My name is Nicky Ninedoors. It is the name I have gone by for six years, ever since I became a stripper. When I was given the nickname “Ninedoors” about ten years ago, it stuck with me, and I identified with it. Even my husband calls me Nicky: I met him when I was Nicky Ninedoors, and I will always be Nicky Ninedoors to him, even if he knows my legal name.
When I was reported, it was in the midst of a bunch of shows. My only option to maintain a connection to the two thousand people that I am friends with was to upload government issued ID. I felt really uncomfortable but also didn’t see any alternative. I had no other way of communicating or participating in discussions with those people. Worse, I had a performer page specifically for marketing my performing side of my life, but I couldn’t access it because my regular account was locked out.
I uploaded my ID, and said my name was Nicky Ninedoors, and explained that if my legal name was used, then thousands of people would be able to connect my legal name to my naked persona, which was unsafe for me. I don’t need complete strangers from the strip club being able to see enough of my profile to connect the dots. It felt really risky, which is exactly one of the reasons why I’ve gone under Nicky Ninedoors consistently for the past six years. FB ignored what I said, and uploaded my profile as my legal name. Despite countless pleas to change it, they sent me automated responses about how I could change security and privacy settings on my account. Which is pretty useless, considering I can’t un-out myself to two thousand people. I felt dismissed and endangered, as if my safety as a sexual performer just didn’t matter to FB at all.
There were many, many people who suddenly had no idea who I was, and had to look extensively through my photos to realize it was Nicky. I honestly felt like a part of me was lost. I no longer felt comfortable interacting with people on that profile, and also felt that if someone had reported me, perhaps someone really was out to get me.
It took two months to get my profile back, and at the end of that fb sent me a generic “Your account was suspended by mistake”. I honestly felt really frustrated. I’d already been exposed as my legal name for two months. I don’t know if there is any damage from that, or if there are negative repercussions that extend farther than my feeling of unease. Furthermore, I continue to feel disturbed that FB forces people to upload government issued ID. That seems to be in some serious grey area. There are so many people online who upload pornography or hate crime or violence or horrifically graphic photos that actually do damage- all I wanted was to be known as the name I have chosen for myself and have gone by for the last six years consistently. I was not causing damage to anyone or causing anyone to be unsafe, and I was the one being punished.