Survivors of Domestic or Sexual Violence

User stories have been collected via our survey and are only published on our site when we’re given explicit permission by users, including whether or not we are permitted to publish their name and location (many prefer to be anonymous). They are lightly edited for clarity or readability. Note that category tags are for easy searchability only and may not be exhaustive.

Members of the press should contact us before quoting stories in articles or if you would like to interview users directly.

User Story: Anonymous

I am a transgender person who has gone through a few periods of testing names out to see if they fit, and ultimately deciding on the nickname my mother gave me when I was a toddler and the last name I was born with. I have relatives that I am…

User Story: Anonymous

I am the victim of kidnapping and sexual assault. My case has been caught in the judicial system for 10 years. My abuser has found me on Facebook and messaged me under fake accounts. Why should I be isolated from friends and family, and punished by Facebook because I am…

User Stories: Boogie

I was adopted when I was 9 years old against my wishes. My name was changed without my permission or input. I refuse to use the adoptive name given to me on any public forum or social media page due to the fact that I had an abusive step father…

User Story: Mythical Man

When I received the same ‘authentic name’ message from Facebook, I informed them that I am a victim of abuse, that I would not be providing them with my information, and asked them to delete my account.  I received an e-mail from Facebook, saying that my account has been deleted,…

User Story: Anonymous

I’m a therapist who works with young adults who have serious mental illness. Some of the youth that I work with are involved in local gangs and have violent histories. Some are just overly fascinated with the therapists and social workers that are involved in their lives. I work with…

User Story: Anonymous

I was raised by parents who were both addicts. I survived a childhood full of physical and sexual abuse and spent many years with them dragging me all over the country hiding. As a grown woman I created a community and new family based solely around the person I had…

User Story: Ginger Slap

I am professional burlesque performer. I love sharing soul on stage with my audience, and even my crazy sexual side. But I don’t want stalkers tracking me down. It can be scary sometimes. Having someone you don’t know show up on your door step is an unwanted experience. But the…

User Story: Anonymous

I have PTSD. As a child, I used to get beaten by my mother until I was afraid for my life. My name now is an attempt to break from the person I was then, as well as avoid my mother and other family members. When Facebook said the name…

User Story: Anonymous

My name protected me from my employers finding out about my private life, and people I don’t want to locate me. My surname is too unusual to hide behind—the man I sent to prison for childhood abuse would know me, and the man I’m divorcing for domestic abuse would find…

User Story: Angelina

I was raped at 19 because of my sexual orientation.  So when I was asked to provide my ID, I felt that I was once again been violated by Facebook.

User Story: Bon Bon

My name keeps my personal life private and has been my day-to-day name for 10 years.  I complied with Facebook to give them other forms of ID that they said they would accept. I gave one photo with my state ID and an event staff badge with my nick name…

User Story: Anonymous

I have been known as _____ by friends and family, both online and “in real life” since 1997. I prefer it to the name given to me before my birth. Everyone I know calls me by this name and very few people actually know the name on my birth certificate, because I…

User Story: Anonymous

I’ve been a Facebook member since 2010 and am known to people as my writer’s name. I was unmercifully hacked and bullied and stalked by a former husband. I tried the codes: the blocking, ignoring, and fighting back. One of the cyberbullies started posting my legal name and private business. I was publicly…

User Story: Anonymous

My account was suspended not long ago and I was asked to provide my legal name. This caused great discomfort as I had been using an alias for many reasons. First, I feared being looked up by a certain person of the past who had me living life like I…

User Story: Jackie Beltaine

My public name is Jackie Beltaine. It was given to me many years ago due to my involvement as an organizer of the LI Beltaine Festival. I kept it as a public name to maintain my privacy as I was raising a young child and didn’t need the “crazies” showing…

User Story: Anonymous

I’m a public school teacher, a domestic abuse survivor, and a circus performer. I desperately need to keep those areas of my life separate, for my safety and my job. Being forced to use my real name took away my agency to be all three. I lost my performance contacts,…

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